


and all those things that you (never) said

by Alitheia



Series: #MalamMingguMaso [5]
Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Canon Universe, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Non-Chronological, somewhere written on your body there are the first or last words your soulmate says to you, timeline is a mess because i'm also a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24357388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alitheia/pseuds/Alitheia
Summary: And so like his past, the words stay hidden under the fabric of his sleeve. Because why would a spy need a soulmate, anyway?
Relationships: Kaminaga/Miyoshi (Joker Game)
Series: #MalamMingguMaso [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753051
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	and all those things that you (never) said

**Author's Note:**

> 5th entry for #MalamMingguMaso on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/allitheia/status/1264210770767699974) c:

**twenty-six**

Autumn seeped into the color of withering leaves.

He stared at the trees lining up along the riverbank, mindlessly counting his steps as he walked to a place that would soon be his new home. It’s not the most appropriate term, but he wasn’t sure what else to call it. The sky was clear, a stretch of pale blue above his head, it almost felt like summer, but without the uncomfortable heat and humidity. It was a perfect day to start out anew.

The destination was a large, old building made of red bricks, with a fake name at the front door. No visible guards, though no one was curious enough to trespass. Initial instructions were clear; classrooms were on the second floor, and the first meeting would be held in the second room after the stairs.

He thought he was early enough, but when he entered, there was already another person inside.

A man that later he would know as Miyoshi looked up, meeting his eyes. He greeted that man first, “Good morning, great weather today, isn’t it?”

At twenty-six, for the first time in his life, he introduced himself as Kaminaga.

**eight**

There was a sentence written somewhere on everybody, that would appear on the night of the twentieth birthday. A string of characters, a set of letters; black and bold against the skin. Those would be either the first or the last words your soulmate said to you, his mother was the one who told him, but you’d have to figure out by yourself which one it was.

Kaminaga couldn’t be sure if it was the first time he heard about soulmates, although he vaguely remembered that it was the age when he began to learn the real meaning of it.

A match made in heaven, two beings that would flawlessly complement each other.

Soulmate was what you used to call your fated person.

**twenty**

It would be a lie if he said he was a romantic, but who wouldn’t be at least a little bit excited to know the words of your fated person? The sentence started to appear right when he turned twenty. Small, neat characters that Kaminaga would like to imagine as the handwriting of his soulmate. It appeared vertically on the inner side of his left arm, starting from the wrist and tracing down along his veins.

When a sentence emerged, it’s common to wonder if it was the first or the last words. There’s no way to tell until the very end, after all, but if you had the first words, then your soulmate would own the last words and vice versa.

Kaminaga didn’t have to wonder though, he already knew which one it was the moment he read those words.

On his wrist, stark and clear it was written, **_I wish we had never met._**

**twenty-six**

At twenty-six, he threw away everything that was him, including the words etched on his wrist. Kaminaga couldn’t erase them, but he could still forget about them. And so like his past, the words stay hidden under the fabric of his sleeve.

Because why would a spy need a soulmate, anyway?

**thirteen**

He learned that although the words were written on you, it did not serve as an absolute guarantee that you would end up together with the person who said them. There was no rule that stated you must be with your so-called soulmate, would you really fall in love with somebody just because some sentence magically appeared on your skin?

His parents weren’t soulmates, yet they seemed to love each other nonetheless. Kaminaga didn’t know what exactly the words they had on them, though in the end he never asked.

**twenty-six**

When they first met, Kaminaga had zero plan on liking Miyoshi. Soon the whole agency knew about how much of a narcissist this young master was and how insufferable he could be, although silently they also had to admit how good of a spy he was. (Maybe Miyoshi was actually the best out of them all, but they would prefer to break D-Agency’s taboo of _don’t die_ rather than admitting that out loud.)

Kaminaga and Miyoshi started out competitive, with a bantering routine and regular teasing. Then the longer they were around each other, the less they needed to say any mocking remarks. Kaminaga held back his comments more often, and Miyoshi became more patient. They learned about each other’s weaknesses and filled up the lacking gaps, working together to reach impeccable results. Turned out they had more similarities than Kaminaga had thought, and amidst the comfortable silence that surrounded them when they were up reading books until past midnight, he learned how to genuinely like this man.

It almost felt like they held some kind of a special connection that none of the others had, as if they’d known each other long before.

(Like maybe, just maybe, how soulmates would be.)

**twenty-seven**

At twenty-seven, when he saw how Miyoshi’s eyes glimmered under the resplendent lights of the city at night and how lovely the curve of his lips as he smiled at Kaminaga, he realized he was in love.

**twenty-eight**

“Come on, tell me, do you have the first or the last words?” Kaminaga asked again, half serious. Perhaps they really did drink a little bit too much, because he now felt a bit heady. The summer heat was unbearable even after sunset, so he started fanning himself. Tomorrow, most of the agency members would depart on each of their own mission. “I thought we were best friends.”

They both laughed at that. A _friend_ was not something used to call another spy.

There’s a slight flush on Miyoshi’s cheeks, but he still seemed completely sober—thoughtful, even, as if he’s still weighing whether giving this unimportant information would be something he regretted for life. It took a long time, but Miyoshi finally answered with a sigh, “First.”

Who knew whether it was the truth or not, Kaminaga only played along. In truth, he didn’t really care either way. Whatever words written on Miyoshi, what could Kaminaga possibly do?

“Coincidence, I actually have my soulmate’s last sentence.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he let another quiet laugh interrupt him before he continued, “but it doesn’t matter, I think they hate me, anyway.”

“How would you know?”

“Well, you see,” Kaminaga started unbuttoning his cuff, “it’s written here that—”

Miyoshi didn’t wait for him to finish the sentence, he held Kaminaga’s hand, then leaned in to kiss him in one swift motion. It tasted slightly bitter, yet still intoxicating, much like Miyoshi himself. They stayed still for a while, drowning in the soft warmth of each other’s lips.

When they parted, Miyoshi’s gaze was cold.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

**twenty-eight**

Later, Miyoshi left without saying goodbye.

The spy only smiled, somewhat a bit rueful, and whispered close to Kaminaga’s ear, “I wish we had never met.”

Kaminaga already had hunch, but he himself was too much of a spy to be concerned about paltry things like soulmates. Even if time was turned back and they were given the chance to redo everything from the beginning, they both already knew how things would end.

It was his soulmate’s last words written on his wrist, indeed, because Kaminaga never saw him again after.

**thirty**

Somewhere under the snowy sky of faraway foreign land, buried under a broken train car, his soulmate bled and died.

At thirty, for the first time in his life, Kaminaga learned what a heartbreak felt like.

**Author's Note:**

> **(twenty)**
> 
> (Miyoshi stared at the words that had appeared on his thigh. It’s a messy scrawl of ugly handwriting, a bunch of characters that were almost missing one or two strokes as if the person was writing in a hurry, forming the most generic sentence that humankind could ever possibly come up with.
> 
>  _Good morning, great weather today, isn’t it?_ )


End file.
